At the end of the fifth episode, she says, "In the clear blue sky, the clouds float by." I guess it is during this time when we truely put down everthing that we would notice such stuff...
Even though we cannot do many things, we try our best in the things that we can. Till one day when we cannot do anything. Then we do not do anything. But knowing we have not wasted the time that we could do things, we should be satisfied.
Seeing the stares she receives when she boards the bus in episode 6 makes me think that we should actually smile at the diabled when we see them. Well, then again, they may think that we are just being nice to them since they are disabled. Some want to be a part of society like normal ppl. And by doing anything special, we are making them stick out in society...so what should we do.....of course not stare at them. But smile at them? Or ignore them? Well....I guess I would choose to be friendly.
When the younger brother scores a goal for his team, the whole family is happy. The parents are happy. Proud of their children they say. I still don't really understand that. I would just say well done.
Friday, June 13, 2008
1 litre of tears part 3
Inconveniencing everyone, yet having to say sorry to everyone with a smile....that is truely a tough order...having to face that kind of stare, wish to just disappear into thin air....
That heart to carry on struggling. To only go forward. I think that is the only prove of our worth.
Sometimes we may advice ppl not to do things, not to fall into traps. But they do not listen. What can we do? I think sometimes it is better to just let them experience it for themselves rather than create more negativity between the two parties.. It is a phase of growing up. They have to experience it themselves to learn and grow up and become stronger. We can only stand by and watch and cushion their fall. My dad always says that is it better to keep the communication channel open between two ppl rather than break it. Cos once broken, even if you want to help, you would not be able to do anything.
In episode 5, when they break the news of Aya's illness to the family, the younger sister, Ako, says that they can't just sudedenly say things like that. That there is no cure for the illness. And she is lost and asks what she should do. The father then explains that it is simple, when a person is in need, we help. When a person is sad and cry, we ask what is wrong. this reminds me of the what Maser Seung Sahn used to say of when is person is hungry you give them food. Basic thing, basic compassion. Many times i think we have this heart, but due to other things like pride, we do not extend our hand. Actually things may just be so simple.
Aya says 'I am...who I am" which is contrary to the 'Yesterday's Aya is no more'. Which means, this 'I', this "Aya' changes every single moment. So when I say I, I am the I now, not just now, not yeterday, not tmr. I am the I now.This is to be in oneness with who you are in the moment. Which means you have no delusion that you are something other than who you are. For example, Aya is not stuck with the image of who she was in the past, that she is a basketball player with everything in the world. She accepts who she is now, someone who cannot really walk well, a disabled. And I think that's where we can start to work things out.
That heart to carry on struggling. To only go forward. I think that is the only prove of our worth.
Sometimes we may advice ppl not to do things, not to fall into traps. But they do not listen. What can we do? I think sometimes it is better to just let them experience it for themselves rather than create more negativity between the two parties.. It is a phase of growing up. They have to experience it themselves to learn and grow up and become stronger. We can only stand by and watch and cushion their fall. My dad always says that is it better to keep the communication channel open between two ppl rather than break it. Cos once broken, even if you want to help, you would not be able to do anything.
In episode 5, when they break the news of Aya's illness to the family, the younger sister, Ako, says that they can't just sudedenly say things like that. That there is no cure for the illness. And she is lost and asks what she should do. The father then explains that it is simple, when a person is in need, we help. When a person is sad and cry, we ask what is wrong. this reminds me of the what Maser Seung Sahn used to say of when is person is hungry you give them food. Basic thing, basic compassion. Many times i think we have this heart, but due to other things like pride, we do not extend our hand. Actually things may just be so simple.
Aya says 'I am...who I am" which is contrary to the 'Yesterday's Aya is no more'. Which means, this 'I', this "Aya' changes every single moment. So when I say I, I am the I now, not just now, not yeterday, not tmr. I am the I now.This is to be in oneness with who you are in the moment. Which means you have no delusion that you are something other than who you are. For example, Aya is not stuck with the image of who she was in the past, that she is a basketball player with everything in the world. She accepts who she is now, someone who cannot really walk well, a disabled. And I think that's where we can start to work things out.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
1 litre of tears part 2
Then she gets invited on a date with a senior she likes.. she initially agrees happily. Well..he is also happy. But then she thinks, that now she is sick, should she carry on this? When my future is unknown, how can i prmise anything to anyone?......When my own future is unknown. That is also one of the most scariest things....how do we deal with such things....
But then her mom encourages her to go...saying that is what girls should do at high school. When ppl look at you, they have no idea what is happening, so they talk to u like nothing is happening. So you smile and agree...they do not have to know of such things... And there is no harm in agreeing to something that would make someone happier. Anyway we do not have much time left. We should use our lives well in bringing some joy, love and hope into other ppl's lives. That is how i think. we just try our best and that is enough. If best is not good enough...that's too bad.
At the same time, I think the stress on her parents must be tremendous. With the mother working in a position that requires her to deal with people. How can she gold up to such a stress. Even though I may not know or cannot fanthom what is going through a parents' mind at this moment. I guess it must have been very difficult for them too.
When facing the loss of a loved one...I guess there is no two way abt it. we just have to move on. If not we will be stuck with and in their death and loss. And we will be lost to those around us who love us.---From seeing how the guy Asou behaves...
Sitting on the bus to meet her date, she looks at the scenery outside..knowing she will not be able to see them much longer...they are but something so distant right now(just a personal thought)
But as she reaches the zoo, she looks at the penguins and the kids laughter and enjoyment. She laughs to herself. Infected by their laughter, suddenly your own feelings do not matter anymore. Anyway, there will be no more you in no time. You have prepared yourself for that........ Just for that moment.
When the senior din come but Asou came, she said that somewhere in her heart, she knew that he wouldn't come. She then told Asou that they said she would gradually be unable to walk or talk. And would not be able to pronounce her words properly. Asou once said that humans are the only greedy creatures, knowing that they are about to die yet try to find all ways and means to live longer. But the girl, Aya Ikeuchi then asks if it is really wrong. I interpret it to mean that is it really too much to ask for. At the ending of that episode, the real Aya writes that she wanted to build a time machine to return to the past and if it wasn't for the disease, she would be in love. And that she wanted to cling someone's arm so badly.
Well...the greed part sounds a bit Buddhistic to me. That's what Buddhism always talks abt right, attachment, greed etc. However, in this case, is it really it? Well...I do think so. But Aya is but a normal human, not some Buddhist saint. Is it really wrong to want those things? Is it really wrong to want more? She is only 15 years old, there is still so much she wants to do! So is it wrong? I do not think so... But the waves of the disease just totally sweeps everything away.. What can we do? We are actually powerless to do anything. We can try the best we can but we cannot chase such stuff anymore...You will come to understand soon.....It is better to go with the waves and create something useful out of it. But when the waves prevent us and straps us down. i think we should go with it and continue to try to work with it as best as we can. Fight what can be fought, not what cannot be fought. But I think it is not wrong.....it truely is heart wrenching...but i think it is a process that we must go through. I am not excluded.
But then her mom encourages her to go...saying that is what girls should do at high school. When ppl look at you, they have no idea what is happening, so they talk to u like nothing is happening. So you smile and agree...they do not have to know of such things... And there is no harm in agreeing to something that would make someone happier. Anyway we do not have much time left. We should use our lives well in bringing some joy, love and hope into other ppl's lives. That is how i think. we just try our best and that is enough. If best is not good enough...that's too bad.
At the same time, I think the stress on her parents must be tremendous. With the mother working in a position that requires her to deal with people. How can she gold up to such a stress. Even though I may not know or cannot fanthom what is going through a parents' mind at this moment. I guess it must have been very difficult for them too.
When facing the loss of a loved one...I guess there is no two way abt it. we just have to move on. If not we will be stuck with and in their death and loss. And we will be lost to those around us who love us.---From seeing how the guy Asou behaves...
Sitting on the bus to meet her date, she looks at the scenery outside..knowing she will not be able to see them much longer...they are but something so distant right now(just a personal thought)
But as she reaches the zoo, she looks at the penguins and the kids laughter and enjoyment. She laughs to herself. Infected by their laughter, suddenly your own feelings do not matter anymore. Anyway, there will be no more you in no time. You have prepared yourself for that........ Just for that moment.
When the senior din come but Asou came, she said that somewhere in her heart, she knew that he wouldn't come. She then told Asou that they said she would gradually be unable to walk or talk. And would not be able to pronounce her words properly. Asou once said that humans are the only greedy creatures, knowing that they are about to die yet try to find all ways and means to live longer. But the girl, Aya Ikeuchi then asks if it is really wrong. I interpret it to mean that is it really too much to ask for. At the ending of that episode, the real Aya writes that she wanted to build a time machine to return to the past and if it wasn't for the disease, she would be in love. And that she wanted to cling someone's arm so badly.
Well...the greed part sounds a bit Buddhistic to me. That's what Buddhism always talks abt right, attachment, greed etc. However, in this case, is it really it? Well...I do think so. But Aya is but a normal human, not some Buddhist saint. Is it really wrong to want those things? Is it really wrong to want more? She is only 15 years old, there is still so much she wants to do! So is it wrong? I do not think so... But the waves of the disease just totally sweeps everything away.. What can we do? We are actually powerless to do anything. We can try the best we can but we cannot chase such stuff anymore...You will come to understand soon.....It is better to go with the waves and create something useful out of it. But when the waves prevent us and straps us down. i think we should go with it and continue to try to work with it as best as we can. Fight what can be fought, not what cannot be fought. But I think it is not wrong.....it truely is heart wrenching...but i think it is a process that we must go through. I am not excluded.
1 litre of tears part 1
This show is about a 15 year old girl who developed a spino cerebullar degenerative disease and how she suffers with it, how she deals with it, together with her family and friends. I actually just watched the 2hr 20 min special. And i think it is a really great show, in that after watching it, I begin to reflect about my own life, how I deal with things. What would I do if I were her..
Now I just started watching the series. I'll just blog my thoughts as I go along.
Up to Episode 4: She walks along the same route to school, thinking, "Though I am seeing the same view like yesterday, walking the same road as yesterday, my whole world has totally changed. Surely I will never laugh like that again." How true is this, one day your world was perfect, the next it totally shatters, everything you know, seems to be different. Everything is different. It is almost like a dream, how can this happen?? How can this happen?? How can this be?? Just yesterday everything was fine, now it is totally changed. Do you understand? Without going through an great experience, of loss, of change...i think we can never thuely understand. It is like a dream, but this dream plays on. There is no getting out. Is that why the Buddhist teachings teach that life is just like a dream?? Since there is no getting out, I think there is only one way forward...what i just said are my thoughts...but i think it mirrors her's. Or is it because it mirrors mine...
What would happen if I too lost my ability to move, things that I have always taken for granted. Actually, this may sound strange, that's why since young, I have always prepared myself for this. I would always play the blind game and go around the house with my eyes closed, feeling my way across the room, across the house. Walk with the least amount of strength and muscle work, climb the stairs that way. But it seems it is inevitable. Preparing for that day. Have I done what I wanted to do. Will i cling on like how she does? I do not know. Ideally Buddhistically, one should not do so. But no one knows if i can accomplish that, until the real day comes or when the disease strikes. Will i be able to let it go..
She then says, " The old me no longer exist." I would like to add that the old life no longer exist.
Actually I think losing the control of your body when your mind still knows what is happening is the most scariest thing.
Now I just started watching the series. I'll just blog my thoughts as I go along.
Up to Episode 4: She walks along the same route to school, thinking, "Though I am seeing the same view like yesterday, walking the same road as yesterday, my whole world has totally changed. Surely I will never laugh like that again." How true is this, one day your world was perfect, the next it totally shatters, everything you know, seems to be different. Everything is different. It is almost like a dream, how can this happen?? How can this happen?? How can this be?? Just yesterday everything was fine, now it is totally changed. Do you understand? Without going through an great experience, of loss, of change...i think we can never thuely understand. It is like a dream, but this dream plays on. There is no getting out. Is that why the Buddhist teachings teach that life is just like a dream?? Since there is no getting out, I think there is only one way forward...what i just said are my thoughts...but i think it mirrors her's. Or is it because it mirrors mine...
What would happen if I too lost my ability to move, things that I have always taken for granted. Actually, this may sound strange, that's why since young, I have always prepared myself for this. I would always play the blind game and go around the house with my eyes closed, feeling my way across the room, across the house. Walk with the least amount of strength and muscle work, climb the stairs that way. But it seems it is inevitable. Preparing for that day. Have I done what I wanted to do. Will i cling on like how she does? I do not know. Ideally Buddhistically, one should not do so. But no one knows if i can accomplish that, until the real day comes or when the disease strikes. Will i be able to let it go..
She then says, " The old me no longer exist." I would like to add that the old life no longer exist.
Actually I think losing the control of your body when your mind still knows what is happening is the most scariest thing.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Mistakes, Regret, what do we do?
Let's say we make decision today. 10 years later, we realise it to be a bad decision which brings innumerable bad repercussions.
How would we feel?
Deep regret. We would want to change it, make time go back, we would do anything at all, anything at all, we would want to salvage it.
But, there is nothing we can do about it. The hurt and damage is already done.
What happens?
Hurt, pain, wanting to kill ourselves over it. The feeling of deep hurt, pain, regret, it is just so uncomfortable we just want to kill ourselves or someone over it.
OR
What happens?
We recognise our mistake. We recognise that we were young, impulsive, had a lack of foresight, had a lack of judgement, was naive, was lacking in wisdom, that at the time when we made the decision, it was with all our training in decision making from all of the years of our lives up to that point. It was to the best of our ability, with all the available information! If we could go back in time, without the knowledge of what we would know of the future, with our inmature mind and self, with our lack of wisdom, lack of judgement, lack of foresight, we would make exactly the same decision, there would be no difference at all! It was already to the best of our ability with the circumstances we had then! It couldn't have happened any differently. Even if we knew something more, within the stresses of the circumstances then, we might have done exactly the same thing then!! So how? What could we do? We feel deep regret, like it is tearing us apart. But only feeling regret and doing things like injuring oneself and others is no use and not beneficial to anyone. We need to turn this regret and channel it in a positive way, to help someone, to be of service to somebody, to make things better for people, to make ourselves wiser, to improve our foresight, to improve our judgement, to analyse the problem and make sure that we do not make this mistake again. This regret may never leave us and be with us always. But gradually, over time, we learn to live with it, just like how we live with scars. They are but part and parcel of this life. So do not let it consume your life, do not give it more power to wreck your life than it already has. Life goes on, the sky is still blue, and flowers bloom again, that's life.
How would we feel?
Deep regret. We would want to change it, make time go back, we would do anything at all, anything at all, we would want to salvage it.
But, there is nothing we can do about it. The hurt and damage is already done.
What happens?
Hurt, pain, wanting to kill ourselves over it. The feeling of deep hurt, pain, regret, it is just so uncomfortable we just want to kill ourselves or someone over it.
OR
What happens?
We recognise our mistake. We recognise that we were young, impulsive, had a lack of foresight, had a lack of judgement, was naive, was lacking in wisdom, that at the time when we made the decision, it was with all our training in decision making from all of the years of our lives up to that point. It was to the best of our ability, with all the available information! If we could go back in time, without the knowledge of what we would know of the future, with our inmature mind and self, with our lack of wisdom, lack of judgement, lack of foresight, we would make exactly the same decision, there would be no difference at all! It was already to the best of our ability with the circumstances we had then! It couldn't have happened any differently. Even if we knew something more, within the stresses of the circumstances then, we might have done exactly the same thing then!! So how? What could we do? We feel deep regret, like it is tearing us apart. But only feeling regret and doing things like injuring oneself and others is no use and not beneficial to anyone. We need to turn this regret and channel it in a positive way, to help someone, to be of service to somebody, to make things better for people, to make ourselves wiser, to improve our foresight, to improve our judgement, to analyse the problem and make sure that we do not make this mistake again. This regret may never leave us and be with us always. But gradually, over time, we learn to live with it, just like how we live with scars. They are but part and parcel of this life. So do not let it consume your life, do not give it more power to wreck your life than it already has. Life goes on, the sky is still blue, and flowers bloom again, that's life.
Things we can do
Trying to help, in the end I couldn't do anything at all. Trying not to create trouble, in the end, more troubles are created. Dealing with a person who thinks he/she knows, thinking things out of thin air, imagining things and believing them to be real, refusing to listen to anything, what can I do? What can I do? Totalling nothing at all!!
But this is normal, sometimes, conditions are not right.....we can only hang in there and just move on...patience is needed
But this is normal, sometimes, conditions are not right.....we can only hang in there and just move on...patience is needed
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Dharma In Action - Buddhist Youth Conference 2008
Dharma In Action - Buddhist Youth Conference 2008
Calling all engaged Buddhist youths and Buddhist Youth Leaders!
You believe in Buddhism and its value to today's society. You have always thought of doing more for Buddhism and you are constantly seeking new channels to reach out and share the wonderful Teachings.
Dharma In Action: Buddhist Youth Conference 2008 (www.dharmainaction.net) will be a platform for all Buddhists to gather and share experiences in organizing Buddhist activities and Dharma propagation. On 23 August 2008, we will be discussing milestone Buddhist events organized both in Singapore and overseas. Major lessons learnt will be shared together with the ups and downs of organizing such activities. The speakers will also be sharing with us on their motivations and what keep them going.
Following lunch, we will continue our discussion on the various efforts expended by Buddhists in both music and entrepreneurship. We will explore music and its role in Dharma propagation. We will also be speaking to Buddhists who are entrepreneurs to hear their thoughts on how Buddhism helps them in their businesses.
If you are looking to meet like-minded Buddhist youths or seeking new ideas in Dharma propagation, join us at the conference!
For more details on the event, please log into our website at www.DharmaInAction.net or contact the following:
Bro Victor Lim
9852-2492
sadhu@singnet.com.sg
Bro Teo Puay Kim
9820-7295
puaykim@gmail.com
Calling all engaged Buddhist youths and Buddhist Youth Leaders!
You believe in Buddhism and its value to today's society. You have always thought of doing more for Buddhism and you are constantly seeking new channels to reach out and share the wonderful Teachings.
Dharma In Action: Buddhist Youth Conference 2008 (www.dharmainaction.net) will be a platform for all Buddhists to gather and share experiences in organizing Buddhist activities and Dharma propagation. On 23 August 2008, we will be discussing milestone Buddhist events organized both in Singapore and overseas. Major lessons learnt will be shared together with the ups and downs of organizing such activities. The speakers will also be sharing with us on their motivations and what keep them going.
Following lunch, we will continue our discussion on the various efforts expended by Buddhists in both music and entrepreneurship. We will explore music and its role in Dharma propagation. We will also be speaking to Buddhists who are entrepreneurs to hear their thoughts on how Buddhism helps them in their businesses.
If you are looking to meet like-minded Buddhist youths or seeking new ideas in Dharma propagation, join us at the conference!
For more details on the event, please log into our website at www.DharmaInAction.net or contact the following:
Bro Victor Lim
9852-2492
sadhu@singnet.com.sg
Bro Teo Puay Kim
9820-7295
puaykim@gmail.com
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