Doing

Recently, I had this conversation with a friend. It's about doing snd how we human beings keep jumping from doing one thing to doing the next thing. Sometimes, I would think we are lost in the doing. We just want to do something. Even cultivators also want to do something, chant, bow, read, even meditate! Meditation, the pinnacle of non-doing, is also doing sonething. They say, "I'm going to meditate now." It's like meditation is also, an activity, sonething to do which can fill up their time. When friends meet, we must also always find a reason to meet or something to do. We cannot just meet to meet each other. It's really wierd.

Zen Master Harada Tangen Roshi used to say, "Just this one doing". But do what? One? There are so many things to do!! How can it be one? By that phrase, is he also free of the compulsion to do something?

Some people say this compulsion to keep doing something to occupy your time, is actually to occupy your mind, to keep it busy so that it doesn't have to face the Truth of yourself. You don't want to see yourself.. Is that the case?

Another saying is that you just have to know why you are doing sonething then just go ahead and do it, no second thoughts. However, even so, I feel this doing and doung does become a habit! And we keep looking for something to do. In fact, I think we lose appreciation of the now in our compulsion of always doing.

On the other side of the spectrum, there are others who revel in not doing. That is another aspect. They are attached to not doing.

As such what is the right way? The middle way between doing and not doing? Doing what is needed but not any extra and when there is nothing to do, just do nothing. Free from the compulsion to always do something, and free from attachment to doing nothing. But how do we achieve this balance?

Something missing

There is something missing because you are looking for something, expecting something. If you are not expecting, seeking, originally, nothing is missing.

The Perfectly Perfect World

If this world was perfect, look again, there's probably something wrong with this world. Maybe a hole or a glitch somewhere.

It is precisely because of this imperfection, we know that this world is completely perfect.

Drunk in this world

Recently I read the following from the Tricycle Magazine

So long as the mind feels pleasure and pain, it’s drunk. Even while practicing the dhamma, it’s drunk, you know. People can get drunk eating rice—there’s no need to drink alcohol. If you eat a lot of rice, you can get drunk—drunk on rice. The same with the dhamma: Don’t get drunk on it. When people are drunk on the dhamma, they don’t stop. They keep on talking. If they see anybody coming, they want to grab him by the arm and give him a sermon on the dhamma. That’s a sign that they’re drunk on dhamma. They go after everybody: “I want to teach that person; I want to do this person a favor by teaching him the dhamma”—and so they do a favor to the entire country by teaching the dhamma. That’s a sign of drunkenness. Being drunk on the dhamma is no different from being drunk on alcohol. They’re really similar. Don’t go there. You have to look carefully, again and again, for sometimes something is dhamma, but it’s drunk. That’s not right.
From Still, Flowing Water, by Venerable Ajahn Chah, trans. Thanissaro Bhikkhu © 2013. Reprinted with permission.

And I have been reflecting on it for the past two days. The more I reflect, the more I feel that this phrase is so true! As our minds get "taken over", drawn totally into the story of things, it becomes like when one is drunk. One just simply follows without discernment. One becomes unclear of what is happening and one's heart just goes off tangent. As such, the training is to be constantly mindful. When mindfulness is strong, and one already is educated on Right View, then it is difficult for 'distractions'/defilements to grow. It's like it loses fuel to burn, no oxygen to burn and it dies of natural death.

However, in a society like Singapore, with too many things to do and too little time, our minds are pulled in all directions and it is tough to practice in this manner. However, if we keep the thought of practicing in our minds, whenever there is an opportunity, likw when we are walking from place to place and especially if we are alone, we will clarify our minds, meaning to make it clear and see things clearly. Slowly, this will grow and then we will be able to do it better and better and slowly it will start to break into other parts of our lives. I think this is how we can practice in Singapore....without going anywhere else.So, I hope everyone can always keep the heart to practice at the back of their head and clarify their minds :) Then the world will then be a better place with less 'drunkards' :)

The greatest curse of life

The master says that practicing gives you strength, strength to say no to your karma and break the chain of unwholesome activities.

Your (bad) karma is like a curse. These unwholesome ways of thinking, rooted in anger, ignorance and greed, solidified into habits, habits of the mind, we sometimes call habitual tendencies. These are what leads us through our lives on a day to day basis.

Zen and Buddhism tells, "hey wake up now! What are you doing?" if we are mindful, this wake up call is often heard. If not, we go along with our habits developed since long ago. The thing is these habits are formed over a long time and they literally created us! We are re-made of them so many times, they are all around and it's hard to notice them. It's camoflaged into the fabric of our thoughts. However, when we become more mindful, we suddenly realise that those habitual tendencies and defilements are driving us to do things. Sometimes, we notice, but as soon as we notice, we get lost in them the next moment, mired in their midst.

It is like being cursed. Curses control our minds, forcing us to see, hear or do things we normally would not see, hear or do. Defilements and habitual tendencies are exactly like that. If you are clear, you immediately know that you are not like this and would not do such things. At this time, if your are strong, you maintain this clarity and do not identify with the curse, thus breaking the curse. This is where the strength that the teacher talks about comes in. The seeing is the first step, the strength combined with the clear seeing breaks the curse. If your seeing is not clear enough, you would not be able to uproot the curse and would need to continually deal with it as it tempts you continuously. If your seeing is clear, you trace it to it's root in your mind and uproot it totally in one full effort.

It is so with curses and also with habitual tendencies and defilements. They chain us without us knowing, prod us in certain directions and we follow them unknowingly. So it is said, clear mind, clear mind, watch, watch! And then at the same time, develop and train your strength. Strength helps to sustain clear mind and clear mind puts strength to good use.

In buddhist meditation we train both. Clear mind in knowing what is and what is not and strength in bring back the mind and not letting it get swept away into the stories of our mind.

Be clear right here right now. Ultimately still, take your place in the centre stage of your life. Remember, all around you, it is all false. Yet, in my tradition, they say, one more step is necessary, what is it? What is worthy enough for us to live and engage our lives in?

One last thing: Be careful, if you are not totally empty, karma will have a hold on you!! If you are totally empty, anything I say is just wind.

Emptiness and your life

These days, after a diamond sutra chanting and Dharma talk by Shifu, i've been feeling an intense sense of emptiness. I keep recalling shifu's words that everything is actually just an empty shell. Yet as I go through life, I do so pretty much as a normal person. The Truth is, all is empty, empty of substantiality, empty of substance. All things without exception are thus. At such a time, nothing is important anymore and you know there is nothing to cling to. When u realise you are clinging to something by habitual energy, reminding yourself of this truth or using this truth to break down the thing you are attached to, you find that whatever you are attached to automatically distintegrates and breaks apart. But, only if you notice, and decide to do so.

Once in a talk, someone asked Shifu what is the meaning of life. Shifu said there is no meaning.

If everything is empty, then of course there is no meaning. After all 'meanings' are imposed on things by us. It is we who make things meaningful. In fact, it is all fabricated on the basis of insubstantial empty things.

So the question remains, why do we live in this world? What are we to do now?

When one's life loses all meaning, it is actually quite similar to the start of depression, before depression sets in. The emptiness is similar. However from this emptiness, there are two ways to go. Embracing the emptiness, recognising it, and choosing to stay happy, or rejecting the emptiness and think that you have lost everything, go into shock and then becoming depressed over it. In fact, nothing has changed. Everything has always been meaningless and empty.

Yet since meaning is created and decided upon by us humans, from this point on, you can actually decide what meaning you want to give to your life. So the question is, what do you want to do with your life?

where are we

In the end, we are just looking for a place to establish our selfness.

The truth is, we don't know ourselves. We are all made up, and because we were made up, there is no place to establish our selves as this is where I belong or I am like this; this is what I like/dislike. In fact, because of the fact that we were all made up, we can be made into anything. There is no limit to what we are, what we can be or can do. Any limits or constraints are also made up and ultimately false.

So, knowing this, the only question left is and always has been, what are you going to do?

Leaving

But my mum has been unhappy these days.. She says that I am not 乖 for leaving her alone at home for 9 days. Hmmm...attachment...

Also it has got me thinking..i always say i am leaving, leaving sg n leaving this world so i make leaving n not leaving. I make this world and that destination.. All are 起心动念的造作, all duality thinking mind..what is the true leaving? And what is the Right Function of this monk's leaving?

A turning word is required..

(turning word is zen talk for some speech or action which turns the situation into the correct direction)

Interesting

Interesting how this human is, with their tricks and full of frailities. The mind being inextrically linked to the body and it's thoughts; Although it is originally free, and non-existant, one experiences everything fully nonetheless. Mired in it, one is said to be deluded. Rising above it, what's the use? If one stays on, one risks getting blown away by the winds and becomes lost in the sands. If one leaves, good for him or her!

So knowing this why does anyone want to stay on? This i cannot understand..

There is suffering and there is more pain.. But as the truth, nothing truly exists, the why do u feel so during torture? Why can't you go through it?

In fact, the way of Amitabha is the easiest and powerful.

The great masters were masters of perseverence. With it, there is no limit!

Your great mission in life; is not too far away from you

Many times we hope to do great things, but fixating on this thought, we neglect those closest to us.. In fact, the truth is those closest to us are no different from those far away.. They might just require different things.....Nonetheless, they require something. If we do not even recognise this need of them, and if we can't satisfy even them, how can we be so presumptious as to say we can benefit more/all sentient beings at some other place? My teachers always teaches that we should always start with those closest to us. If we neglect the feelings of those closest to us and stubbornly engage in our great missions of life, i feel we would be doing a great disservice to those who willingly and sincerely, loved us..

Permanence

Permanence cannot be found in external objects and phenemonea but in the perfectly cultivated person.

While external things are always changing and inconsistent. The perfectly cultivated person is always conpassionate to all beings.

The Grace of Amitabha

Zen Master Seung Sahn said: Just keep clear mind, go straight ahead, try try try, for 10000 years, non-stop! Just do it! :)

So let us all try in our own ways, whether to stay, whether to leave, whether to attain the pure heart and innocence of kids, whether to attain the wisdom and maturity of the wise elders. All is subsumed within the great limitless one who is called Amitabha. By His wisdom and power, let us all have limitless perserverence and determination to cultivate ourselves towards limitless compassion n wisdom. For the sake of ourselves who are not different from the limitless suffering beings, let us forge ahead unceasingly. With faith, love, aspiation and practice, Amituofo :)

By His Grace, We are saved even before We know it.

Free!!! hahahaha!

Also, u know, after tdy's class, I had a deep feeling that we are all sooooo free, in this world, the truth is there is nothing stopping us! The barriers and constraints that limit us is not really there... Nothing is truly tangible and not clinging or attaching to them
and giving them weight, they become nothing. Even weight is weightless! The truth is that nothing can actually limit us... We limit ourselves! If we can free our mind, slowly break through these conceptual barriers, the whole world opens up! You don't have to be limited by what limits you! Cos there is actually nothing limiting you... Even you yourself is breaking up!

U know, actually this vajrayana thing is sooo similar to zen in the ultimate goal... There is almost no difference! Just that vajrayana explains more stuff in greater detail, in zen u kind of walk on a dark road or in the haze with a light in front leading the way.. Not much explaination is given in detail... But they are essentially the same!! So free! Hahaha!! So free! Even Vajrayana is so free if your know, the masters came up with creative methods to get your mind habituated, but to make it work, u got to put in a great deal of effort n be careful of all the pitfalls of being attached to forms! It's not easy too actually.. I expect some people to never get it too! Similar to zen, some people never really know what really is sitting. But a good master is needed!

Haha one great big whole, to acheieve the same thing! Work hard my friends, and do not be deluded! There is nothing real, but don't forget our dear friends!

Seraphine

Hard to tell are Seraphine's words,
Hard to fathom are Seraphine's feelings..
Only trying out do we know,
What Seraphine's feelings truly are.

She hides her tears,
To not let you worry,
She puts on smiles,
To keep u happy.

But do you know,
truly how she feels?
Feel her heart, with your own and open it, to her pain.

Broken

In sadness, there is pain.
In pain, unknown sadness.

Where does this come from?
Where does this go?

Man, there is no where to run.
You just have to sit with it, live through it.

Even if you do not do anything, you still find yourself alive, still moving, still functioning.

Isn't it wierd?

Know that no matter what comes,
your heart can live through it.

That's all you need to know.

With love, with faith.

The Pen and the Paper

The pen and paper meet before the words appear.. The paper thanks the pen, but actually, the pen thanks the paper too :) without the paper, nothing is possible. In this mutual participation, books are written.

Based on empty intangible thoughts, stories that men and women create with their imagination, they record using the disposable, recyclable bodies of pen and paper. Find me one truth that i can hold on to in all this mess! In the first place, does it even exist?

Hey you there, wake up!! Don't you see that the pen needs to write and the paper needs to hold the words. The men and women need to think and so the people have things to read! When the people read, the people will know, that they are but pen and paper, women and men; And they wouldn't be dreaming, about things to write.

So you there, don't be dreaming too! You have something to do. Stop wasting time and lazing around, in this empty recycled world, some work still needs to be done.