The sky is clear again

Dunno what was happening the last few weeks. Anyhow, I felt terrible yesterday and tdy. Felt terrible as in there is this hidden pek cekness behind my mind. Yesterday, i caught this terrible flu(dunno from where) and when I blew nose, my mucus was transparent yellow. Something i have never in my life seen before. Usually it is not transparent. Yesterday's was like jelly. And I cried the most in many many many years. Just kept on tearing until my eyes were swollen. Now I know how terrible it is for this good fren of mine to cry till her eyes swollen and how much she must have cried and how sad she must have been to cry so much but that is another thing.

Anyway, my another good fren, J, saved the day by giving me a yellow flu tablet and provided me a place to sleep. I actually could not sleep but just lay there for like 1 plus hour or was it 2 hrs? I dun know. Anyway, after I got up it was better but my right eye was still super swollen. Like kena punched like that. Really jialat man, had to cancel my movie trip...

The pek chekness.....i think it was a sort of accumulated mental baggage (烦恼), like everything is not going well, studies no where, cca also no where, many problems. Although I am usually still rather carefree, I think they do leave a stain on my mind still and the stain accumulated. So i think i became more irritable too. Sorry anyone i offended. Even my morning meditation was terrible. I could not concentrate properly the last few mornings too.

HOWEVER, all these changed when i went back to Kwan Yin Chan Lin for the last lesson of my Zen Course just now!(and i am not advertising for them or anything) I have totally no idea what happened. All I know is that i went there, sat meditation, legs pain and all, first time legs numb, maybe because i tried a new position. I happened to sit facing a pillar with words on it and i happened to be sitting and looking at the word 白on it and kept staring at the word, as zen meditates with eyes open. Eyes refused to look down to the ground, so i gave up. The word disappeared and and appeared again, and transformed into many things. Concentrate on the dan tian, thoughts flying around and around and around and around and around. What is WU??? this that this that blah blah blah.

In the end, we still could not get the answer for what is WU. But somehow or rather, coming out of the zen centre, havin meditated for the last few hours, I felt totally refreshed feeling like all the baggage that i have been bringing along was gone and i felt so happy. Just so carefree again. It is simply amazing!! Ok my eyes still hurt and I still have my tutorials to do. But no problem, now is time to sleep, tmr have to go for escape theme park outing, I'll try to do my work still and try to run earlier from the theme park outing.

Yeap! Jiayou guys!!! By the way, now i am advertising: Kwan Yin Chan Lin is buying a new premises and builing a new zen centre and they are looking for donations so if you would like to donate to a good cause, here is a good way to invest a money.