Illusive Enjoyment

What's enjoyment? What's suffering? What's joy and what's sadness? Is it inside or outside? Are you inside or outside it? Why aren't they solid, tangible? They seem so unreal yet manifest themselves clearly as real yet when you try to find it, you can't! When you try to find where your sadness is coming from, you can't. When you try to stop it, you can't. You can't stem the sadness in your mind/heart. You can only live with it, and let it come, stay and go while still having to function normally.

When people say enjoy, what do they enjoy? Were they simply lost in the activity? But if it is enjoyment, why do people feel tired after that? If it feels good, why do people feel drained after that? Is that what enjoyment is? After the activity is ended, when you say you enjoyed that, at that time, where has the enjoyment gone? It's gone, not there anymore..so then where is enjoyment? Only in your memory. Then what is this memory, it is illusive, unreal, constantly evolving and changing yet we depend on it to live our lives. Such ephemeral things...as life.

With this enjoyment, now gone, we chase after the next experience that will give us this enjoyment, this mental and emotional ecstasy, yet getting it and always inevitably losing it. Then what is the use of getting it? Some people get drowned in this experience, always chasing and chasing, their whole lives only so. Truly, is this the way to live one's lives?? Chasing after all the experiences yet not one leaving a permanant mark in you? Yet you chase the next one without thinking, only feeling, wanting to quench that thirst! This thirst, it's always the same, every experience, it can only bring you so far.. Don't you realise that?? It's futile.

Maybe with age one comes to see it. Then stopping in your steps, you get this choice of the next experience or not. If not, what are you going to do with your life? This ephemeral life, like drawing with your finger on water. Creating the most beautiful drawing on water you possibly can.