Just a random post

Oh well, 2.30am on a CNY eve with nothing to do and no school today. After reading a few friends' blog enteries i just decided to write a random blog entry.

Over the last few months, life has been comparatively harder. However, it has been just as rewarding, if not even more, it has been testing, which reveals my flaws, attachments, impatience even more.

It seems my memory is getting worse though, not sure if i am getting stupider, I cant really seem to understand the lectures nowadays. And everything seems to be moving at a much faster pace. Since i cannot remember what was the last lecture, i naturally cannot follow up on the next class. Looks like i'll just have to work harder and put in more effort. I think it should be true that memory detriorate with age and it is more difficualt to learn things when you get older. Taking jap2 now, everything is so fast that i sometimes seem so utterly lost in class.

As such, i am going to make the best use out of my new year holidays to catch up on all my subjects and hopefully give myself a head start after the new year.

Recently, i have been getting my life in order, setting up a schedule of what i am gg to do at what time of the day. Like morning wake up do metta

May I & all sentient beings be free of enmity
May I & all sentient beings be free of anger/hate
May I & all sentient beings be free of bodily suffering
May I & all sentient beings be able to continue to be happy

then sit up, do 10 min meditation. Then start the day. Bow to Teachers, Bow to Buddha, then eat breakfast and am out of the house to school. Chant while on the way to school.

Study study study, do my best, make the best use of time, every minute, dicipline dicipline dicipline. Do what I have to. Then go home, the time i like the most, read a dharma book while on the train. Then go home, do homework, dicipline, dicipline, dicipline. Then bow bow bow, then chant then sleep. Been trying to do the metta before sleeping but always forget about it...

This metta thing is quite fun, something i learnt from kaizhao shifu. He was really a nice monk, a bit gangster style, but very funny.

Then been attending a zen course by Kwan Yin Chan Lin. So far it has been rather fun, solving Koans and hitting the ground. Still stuck at the first gateless gate koan, the Joju's mu koan, but at least i have finally followed thru with a proper meditation course and started following a method to meditate. Trying my best, hopefully it help me live better.

I have only been reading Zen books recently, those from Subong Zen Centre, chinese versoin though. Someone recommendad this book on the biography of Shunryu Suzuki, maybe i'll go borrow it tmr from library. It is called Crooked Cucumber btw. I also read 2 books, during the hols. Reincarnation by Meckezie, talking about the boy reincarnate(some ppl would not like this word) but i'll use it. THe other book is a book on Zen by Shunryu Suzuki called Zen Mind Beginner's Mind, super impressed and inspired by it. Ok, now i am getting very sleepy, will turn in now.