1 litre of tears part 2

Then she gets invited on a date with a senior she likes.. she initially agrees happily. Well..he is also happy. But then she thinks, that now she is sick, should she carry on this? When my future is unknown, how can i prmise anything to anyone?......When my own future is unknown. That is also one of the most scariest things....how do we deal with such things....

But then her mom encourages her to go...saying that is what girls should do at high school. When ppl look at you, they have no idea what is happening, so they talk to u like nothing is happening. So you smile and agree...they do not have to know of such things... And there is no harm in agreeing to something that would make someone happier. Anyway we do not have much time left. We should use our lives well in bringing some joy, love and hope into other ppl's lives. That is how i think. we just try our best and that is enough. If best is not good enough...that's too bad.

At the same time, I think the stress on her parents must be tremendous. With the mother working in a position that requires her to deal with people. How can she gold up to such a stress. Even though I may not know or cannot fanthom what is going through a parents' mind at this moment. I guess it must have been very difficult for them too.

When facing the loss of a loved one...I guess there is no two way abt it. we just have to move on. If not we will be stuck with and in their death and loss. And we will be lost to those around us who love us.---From seeing how the guy Asou behaves...

Sitting on the bus to meet her date, she looks at the scenery outside..knowing she will not be able to see them much longer...they are but something so distant right now(just a personal thought)

But as she reaches the zoo, she looks at the penguins and the kids laughter and enjoyment. She laughs to herself. Infected by their laughter, suddenly your own feelings do not matter anymore. Anyway, there will be no more you in no time. You have prepared yourself for that........ Just for that moment.

When the senior din come but Asou came, she said that somewhere in her heart, she knew that he wouldn't come. She then told Asou that they said she would gradually be unable to walk or talk. And would not be able to pronounce her words properly. Asou once said that humans are the only greedy creatures, knowing that they are about to die yet try to find all ways and means to live longer. But the girl, Aya Ikeuchi then asks if it is really wrong. I interpret it to mean that is it really too much to ask for. At the ending of that episode, the real Aya writes that she wanted to build a time machine to return to the past and if it wasn't for the disease, she would be in love. And that she wanted to cling someone's arm so badly.

Well...the greed part sounds a bit Buddhistic to me. That's what Buddhism always talks abt right, attachment, greed etc. However, in this case, is it really it? Well...I do think so. But Aya is but a normal human, not some Buddhist saint. Is it really wrong to want those things? Is it really wrong to want more? She is only 15 years old, there is still so much she wants to do! So is it wrong? I do not think so... But the waves of the disease just totally sweeps everything away.. What can we do? We are actually powerless to do anything. We can try the best we can but we cannot chase such stuff anymore...You will come to understand soon.....It is better to go with the waves and create something useful out of it. But when the waves prevent us and straps us down. i think we should go with it and continue to try to work with it as best as we can. Fight what can be fought, not what cannot be fought. But I think it is not wrong.....it truely is heart wrenching...but i think it is a process that we must go through. I am not excluded.