Aya was saying that when she goes to the new school she would not know anyone. But I think it is always difficult, the initial phase. But when you just do it, with an open heart and an open mind. You get through it. Jiayou Aya!!
Ako, Aya's sister was saying that if she studies real hard, she would be able to get into Higashi High(Aya's current school) and she can be of help to Aya. I think this shows a common phenomena that when there is a crisis and someone is in trouble, when we want to help them, we get the extra strength. Also it would pull the family closer together...
Seeing the class discussing abt the issue of Aya, some of her friends feeling the toll of always taking care of her, it reminds me how things are in this world. Once your friendship isn't enough to balance out the sacrifices, this happens. But this is very normal, in this world many things work like that, one's patience may be a lot, but over long periods, it gets worn down. So in the end, you break. The truth is that it is just not enough. That is no problem. We just have to carry on and think of other solutions. No use blaming anyone. This makes me think of what Buddhism always says, Unconditional Love, Unconditional Love. Aya's friend says she helps Aya because Aya is her friend. That is a condition, a condition, the fuel to help as I mentioned above. So once the fuel runs out, then that's it, no more help. So in unconditional, there is no such thing. there is only pure compassion, pure help, regardless of any relationship or any profit or loss. Some ppl may think if it is really possible. I can say yes. Just look at the saints, Mother Teresa, even recent Masters like Master Hsing Yun, Master Seung Sahn, Master Jing Kong, Master Sheng Yen, Master Shinjo Ito and many others, they just do it. If you think to the end, there is no reason for them to do. But they just do it. We may think we are not saints, how can we be expected to do such a thing. But then, to be able to do such a thing, isn't it great? If we just try bit by bit each day. Before we know it, we may be there one day. With all our defilements, all our wants for ourself, all our vices, we may be there with them one day. So for now, we just do what we can, not thinking of gaining, not thinking of any condition. we just try our best. If we cannot do it anymore, then we can only say sorry to the person, we have tried our best. But through the struggle, there can be no regrets, because we have tried our best.
When ppl scold us for our lack of effort, our lack of compassion, our lack of wisdom, our lack of strength, what can we say, we may have a lot of it, but the truth is that it is just not enough. And that is what they are saying so what they say is the truth. So we do not need to defend ourselves or anything. We should just keep on trying. Keep on trying may sound stupid, why keep on trying? Well, there is a stage of trying without trying. Once you get used to always trying, it becomes part of your system. Not to try too hard, but just try, try just enough. The important thing is what my brother always says, to achieve maximum sustainability. What is try just enough? Just enough so that you can keep on trying non-stop. So that you will not like try so super hard and the next day you get totally shagged out and not want to try anymore. No, that is not the way to do things. We try just right, if it is getting too tiring for us, then we cut ourselves some slack. They may say we lack this and that today, it is okay, because if we keep on trying, one day we will make it.
Also, when we see that people have tried their best and it is not enough. Even if the result is terrible, we should not scold them. They have already tried their best. But sometimes scolding is good. Because it motivates them. So basically, regardless the method, the important thing is to keep motivating people.
We may hate two faced people, show and say one thing but do and mean another. But realise that this is a normal way of things in this society. Get used to it already! This is not what they actually want to do, but just do it unknowingly as this is the only way they know to make less problems for themselves and the society. All humans are selfish. We are not excluded. Understanding that, is there anything to be angry about? Is there anything to blame about? We should just help.
Asou says he is just a damn kid, all talk only(after he scolds the class for their two faced behavior of always saying good things infront of Aya but behind her they are actually thinking of chasing her out of school). Sometimes i think this is very normal. We are all like that. One moment we can be full upright, full of morals, saying all the 'right' things, but most of the time we are really not so morally upright. I think it is normal. Somtimes these talk only ppl are good and useful. Imagine if they do not say anything, no one will reflect on themselves. And then there can be no positive change. So sometimes, we must say and should say. But at the same time, we understand that no one is perfect, everyone is still human, 'a bodhisattva in training', to say it in a buddhist way. So when we meet these all talk ppl, we understand. Nothing to get angry about, Nothing to blame about. But we encourage them to live up to their words too. That is how I think.
After crying and talking to Asou, Aya smiles through her tears ad says "Bye Bye" at the bridge overlooking her school. I think this is how it is. It is ok to cry, to struggle, to be in the depths of sadness and pain. Don't have to block that or try to avoid that. Because, it is only after thoroughly going through these pain, crying, suffering of the part of you that you know being torn away from you that you are able to move on and say Bye bye.
Seeing how Aya says how she loves her dad and her mum and how she loves everybody, saying how all of them lifts her up by calling her big sis. I think that is what we should hope to be to other people. The source of hope, love and support of other people. I think only being so makes our lives worth living.
Wow!! What a great speech!! Aya's farewell speech to her class before she transfers to the disability school. She says, over the past year, things she has been able to do in the past have began to diminish one by one. In her dreams she is able to walk and talk normally to her friends, but when she wakes up she has a body which is not able to move freely. Her life has changed totally. What can she do to prevent a fall when she walks? What can she do to finish her lunch faster? What can she do to not let ppl's stares bother her? She can't function unless she consciously thinks of such stuff. Go to high school, then college, then get a job, How she originally pictured her future to be has been totally reduced to zero. She couldn't find how she should live her life. And she couldn't even see a small ray of hope. And she has thought countless times how the disease has shattered her life. But...but....this is reality no matter how sad. She can't escape the disease no matter how hard she cries (this is usually the case, but the crying and realising part is very necessary i think. the disease is karma, but how you look at it is not and you can decide that), and she can't turn back time no matter how much she wants to recapture the past. If that's the case then she need to start loving herself as she is now. That is what she thought. Because there are so many things she realised since she became affected by the disease. Like what a blessing it is just to have your family around(especially a complete and joyful one). or the warmth of a friends' touch when they subtly lend a hand. Or how extremely fortunate we are just to be healthy(so that's why i think we should use this health well and not waste it Sometimes, we do not realise how fortunate we are until we lose everything. When we lose everything then we realise how much we actually had and have now... It is when we return to zero, then we know and can see. If we just only knew). Not all were lost just because she got ill. That body of her's is her. The burden of disability that she is carrying, that is her. The person that she is now is who she is. She has decided to live with pride. that'swhy she has decided to go to the disability school........She and her classmates may exist in two different worlds but she wants to find light in every step she takes. For her to be able to say that with a smile, she probably has to shed a litre of tears(so that's where the name of the show comes from..) That's why she will never think that something in her life has ended when she leaves that school. Everyone, thank you for your kindness up till now.
She leaves the episode with the last words, "So what if you fall, as long as you get up again. If you lok up at the sky when you fall, the vast blue sky is smiling at you today too. I am alive"
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