Back from retreat into the real world

Ah...it's been a long time since I have posted anything. Let me start from after the retreat, after the retreat, I was really great and could put my meditation to great use dealing with worldly problems and i meditated a lot everyday, almost 30 min every morning. I was very happy and carefree everyday.

However, as i took on more duties or rather more duties piled on me, my meditation got less. I was thinking that since tdy no time, nvm, tmr. So keep on tmr but i try to meditate all the time still and would usually meditate if there is nothing in particular that morning to do. However, moments of deep concentration still happened. I rmb there was a time where I truely understood the meaning of now when Bro Piya mentioned that we were like in heaven in his class. It was truely so. When he said that, all my past fell away, my future became unimportant and i was just there sitting in an airconditioned room listening attentive to him teaching the dharma. In that moment, my mind was as if a great burden had dropped and i suddenly became v happy.

Now as i write this, my term has ended. the new committee has taken over and i have taken the back seat. It is indeed heartening to se the new committee take over, yet, I still find myself being very kepo when it is time to take on a new role and move on. Correct function, correct relation, correct action.

I have also got a room in school. Feel very great, peaceful. With an altar at my table, i do my morning rituals and evening rituals. A good way to start and end the day. I have always liked these rituals, unlike the modern Buddhist who donot understand the essence and spirit behind these rituals. Every ritual is an expression of the mind and the spirit. Every step requires great mindfulness. It is a training to strengthen both mindfulness, faith, and reduce one's ego. Also, i think if this goes on, i'll build in more and more rituals and it will become difficult to follow for the next generation and the essence will be lost again. As such, ritual, i feel is a very personal thing.

Here in hostel, I spent almost 2/3 to 4/5 of the day alone, not talking. This is really true destress and peace. Great indeed!!